I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize