i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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