I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
