Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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