So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
