i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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