OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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