you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
