I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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