i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
