Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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