dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
