I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
