so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
