Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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