Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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