just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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