did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
