i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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