Sober January is a disaster.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
