You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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