You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.