Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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  (248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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  (630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5
  Replies (8) Good night (562) Bad night (2856) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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  (516): she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe? http://tfl.nu/rh9d
  Replies (25) Good night (1062) Bad night (4626) Order T-Shirt
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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  (876): you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom http://tfl.nu/vb0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1226) Bad night (5033) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.

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  (603): I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujkx
  Replies (6) Good night (8714) Bad night (986)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.

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  (716): You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook. http://tfl.nu/wajd
  Replies (18) Good night (5637) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.

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  (303): Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face. http://tfl.nu/aa6s
  Replies (1) Good night (2995) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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  (317): She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here http://tfl.nu/ql7u
  Replies (2) Good night (2138) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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  (405): I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad. http://tfl.nu/l0uz
  Replies (11) Good night (841) Bad night (4769) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

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  (309): I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard. http://tfl.nu/r907
  Replies (4) Good night (2759) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.

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  (705): Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding. http://tfl.nu/zvb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1495) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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  (828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream http://tfl.nu/n2ta
  Replies (12) Good night (2375) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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  (419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h
  Replies (16) Good night (2792) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him

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  (813): I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/hd5x
  Replies (23) Good night (1216) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

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  (847): sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys. http://tfl.nu/l0ff
  Replies (1) Good night (926) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt

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