dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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