I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
