Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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