my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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