Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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