Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
