Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
