if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
