I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
