well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
