just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
