Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You ruined the universe
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
