I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
