so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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