do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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