No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
