I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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