...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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