i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
