I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
