ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
