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  • Submitted by kyui14 on Oct 18, 10 at 1:06am

    If vodka was water and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up! But vodka's not water, and I'm not a duck, so hand me that bottle and shut the fuck up~

  • Submitted by Verchiel on Oct 17, 10 at 2:34pm

    Not sure, what's the saying about stealing from Patton Oswalt's twitter feed from 10/8?\n\nhttp://twitter.com/pattonoswalt

  • Submitted by pfistergood on Oct 17, 10 at 2:35pm

    Vicodin before scotch, urine on crotch, scotch before vicodin, dick in a pumpkin

  • Submitted by its118AM on Oct 17, 10 at 8:15pm

    Who the fuck is Patton Oswalt? Maybe the person was legit asking the question...as in, they'd heard of it from this nobody the same way you did and actually couldn't remember how it went. Ever think of that? Jackasses, all of you.

  • 89 63
    Submitted by erk123 on Oct 17, 10 at 11:31pm

    vicodin, really? try some OC.

  • 88 65
    Submitted by belansky907 on Oct 17, 10 at 10:41pm

    Vicodin before scotch. Enjoy the hospitals watch

  • 90 91
    Submitted by R2DeepThroat on Oct 17, 10 at 6:39pm

    Vicodin before scotch, I steal lines from patton oswalt, cause I'm a shitty person who has no creativity. I'm sure that's how it goes.

  • 82 75
    Submitted by Intimidator1 on Oct 17, 10 at 2:29pm

    Makes one tastey crotch

  • 86 85
    Submitted by pfistergood on Oct 17, 10 at 2:36pm

    Vicodin before scotch, urine on crotch, scotch before vicodin, dick in a pumpkin

  • 78 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 10 at 2:25pm

    Can't use your crotch

  • 80 75
    Submitted by kitty777 on Oct 17, 10 at 2:58pm

    Vicodin before Scotch,\nYou're out like a rock.

  • 69 58
    Submitted by DustinMcPotHead on Oct 18, 10 at 1:05am

    Vicodin before scotch or its like a kick in the crotch.

  • 69 61
    Submitted by kgnightiloveu on Oct 18, 10 at 11:47am

    Why are you binge drinking scotch? Don't you have some cheap UV that still needs to be finished?

  • 74 71
    Submitted by FrieGuy58 on Oct 17, 10 at 8:09pm

    my life will I botch.

  • 64 56
    Submitted by sledhead753 on Oct 18, 10 at 12:00am

    Jam it in when she's on top

  • 68 66
    Submitted by MsNissa on Oct 17, 10 at 4:11pm

    ...it comes out your crotch.

  • 65 62
    Submitted by LizzieD on Oct 18, 10 at 9:36am

    puke you will not!!!!

  • 73 78
    Submitted by Jeremiah7272 on Oct 17, 10 at 2:43pm

    i want to taste your crotch

  • 72 77
    Submitted by jb12125 on Oct 18, 10 at 10:05pm

    Kyui14 I'm putting that on a shirt!

  • 68 70
    Submitted by bpack on Oct 17, 10 at 10:42pm

    Will tear your dick apart

  • 68 80
    Submitted by james217 on Oct 18, 10 at 11:14am

    Vicodin before scotch, tonights gonna rock, scotch before Vicodin we're gonna fight again.

  • 70 89
    Submitted by Poop_Poop on Oct 18, 10 at 12:23am

    To hell with Vicodin... Roxycodone 30 mgs is what's up

  • 59 71
    Submitted by turbo101 on Oct 18, 10 at 4:07pm

    And there's cum on your crotch...

  • Submitted by hertoxiclove on Oct 17, 10 at 3:57pm

    http://tinyurl.com/2ezaqgj. It was Patton Oswalt. Too bad Michigan lacks creativity enough to think of their own texts...

  • 49 65
    Submitted by lastnight130 on Dec 31, 10 at 9:44am

    kyui14- you are my hero

  • 42 72
    Submitted by kleigh426 on Oct 25, 10 at 4:45am

    Kyui14: I had never heard that...love it!!!!!