There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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