That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
