hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
