It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
