I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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