brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do vagina's smell?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
