he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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