Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
