Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize