why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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