i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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