I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
