There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
