Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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