what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
