so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
