I think my vagina is haunted
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
