no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Your penis caused this!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
