I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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