you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I have post one night stand depression
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize