that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
