I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
